5 Things a Professional Woman Should Never Wear

We hate to admit it, because we personally feel that clothes shouldn’t matter. In a perfect world, a person would be judged at their workplace based solely on the caliber of their work. Unfortunately, that’s not how the world works.

How you choose to dress each morning reflects how you feel about your job – that you take your position seriously, that you are ready to work and that you pay attention to detail and know what you expect to encounter that day. You wouldn’t go to a construction site in your favorite four-inch stilettos, right? Of course not, you’d go in a hard hat, because it’s appropriate for the situation. Appearances matter!

We’ve all been there, though. The days you wake up feeling sick, but still have to make it into the office, so you throw on any old thing that’s (kind of) clean. The office where you never see anyone but your hated boss and your frumpy coworkers. The jobs you work from home in your pajamas and no makeup.

Regardless of the excuses, there are some things that professionals should just never wear. Ever.

We’ll show you what these things are, why they’re a terrible wardrobe choice and if you’re guilty of having one in your closet – or (gasp!) in your daily rotation – we’ll give you a much better alternative.

Crocs

 

Why not?

Crocs are for the beach. For small children. For working in the garage or around the house. We realize they have cool antibacterial and slip-resistant properties going for them, but even their website admits that Crocs were originally “intended as a boating/outdoor shoe.” Face it, Crocs are not for the office.


Try me instead:

If you absolutely cannot let go of the Crocs name and comfortable-shoe concept, give YOU by Crocs a go, the brand’s “high fashion” line that still incorporates the “croslite technology” – which means it’s odor resistant and anti-microbial – and that has extra padding right where you need it most: The ball of your foot and your heel.

The Exception
Celebrity chef Mario Batali. If you’re Mario, you have our blessing.


  

Fanny Packs

Why not?

The fanny pack went out of style way back in the 80s, taking side ponytails and neon brights along with them. Sporting a fanny pack in a professional environment shows you have no idea what’s in fashion – whether you consider yourself style savvy or not – while also giving your look a big case of the casuals. You’re not on vacation in 1983, so lose that vinyl fanny pack!

Try me instead:
Just about any handbag, clutch, satchel, tote, even a briefcase, will do the exact same thing as a fanny pack: Hold your essentials.

The Exception
If you’re Hulk Hogan and your muscles make it impossible to put anything over your shoulder, this look is appropriate. Otherwise, never.

 

 

Message Tees

Why not?

It may be cute or funny or so totally true to you, but you never know how other people are going to react. You might be an Italian Princess or The World’s Greatest Mom, but those honorable titles are best kept for your weekend wear.



Try me instead:

Wearing a plain t-shirt and saving your little jokes, observations and rants for email or IM. Keep it clean!

The Exception
Smirnoff girl

 

Piling on the Jewelry

Why not?

We like it when people make an effort with jewelry, but loud, clinking bracelets can be a little on the distracting and irritating side. Just ask the people who have to sit next to you all day! Clink. Clink. Clink. It’s enough to drive someone crazy. And if you’re wearing so many necklaces that someone mistakes you for Mr. T, you only have yourself to blame.

Try me instead:
Instead of piling on numerous bracelets, try one big chunky bracelet. It’s a great way to make a statement without making a racket.

The Exception



Fortune tellers

All-Over Animal Print

Why not?

Animal print almost always comes back in style, so purchasing a leopard or zebra print piece isn’t a terrible idea. However, it’s when you overdo this trend that the horror begins. If you keep it simple, your office will think you’re edgy — which is what you want. But take it over the top, and they’ll think you were up to something a little bit shady last night.

Try me instead:
A little bit of animal print goes a long way. If you do choose to wear a piece with this print, make sure it’s only one item of your outfit. Only shoes, or only your bag, etc.

The Exception



Pussycat dolls, pimps